Monday, April 9, 2012

Tell Me When

It’s hard to reach through all the bitterness,
All the love and the hate and the fears,
Emotions strongly rooted into place,
Through things that dissolve you into tears.
You may not want to but here’s the thing,
You know you’ve changed and so have I,
All I’m asking for is a small chance,
I just want you to give it another try.
I’m standing here with hands stretched out,
I just want to be your friend,
So once you’re ready, I’ll still be here.
I’m offering; just tell me when.


Monday, March 5, 2012


Hello my dear, how’s it going? Whatcha been up to my dear?
Whatcha been doin? I’ve been waiting and waiting for you to appear.
Thirteen more days! Only thirteen I say!
Can you believe how fast time flies, day by day?
I can’t count on my hands, fingers, and toes,
How many times “You’re so beautiful!” arose.
Inside my head of course…cuz that’s what you are,
The most beautiful and gorgeous little lady by far.
With many insides jokes to draw from,
Wife and Wife we decided to become,
For Facebook ordained it with its tagging status,
Constantly pushing and nagging at us.
We scare little children, but that’s okay,
They’ll regret someday the way they ran away.
Because we’d feed them with love and sugar,
How much more could the little ones ask for?
We suck at bowling, and trying on clothes,
But I swear, that dripping ice cream required a hose.
Oh, that’s what this’s for…*pulls out napkin*
I got ice cream all over my arms, legs, and shin.
Well, that was extremely fun,
And who knew then what had begun?
So, mah dear, you really are gorgeous,
And I love you like ice cream, more or less.
Because, I couldn’t live without ice cream,
I would die, after a long, healthy, scream.
So, thank you for being an amazing wife and friend,
And I request, most humbly, that this relationship never end.
So all others out there, BACK OFF, SHE’S MINE!
Beka dear, will you be my Valentine?


Monday, January 23, 2012

I've Missed this Feeling

I’ve missed this feeling of butterflies,
Of delicate wings tickling my tummy,
Of feeling laughter bubbling up,
This feeling of being happy.
I’ve missed this time of silliness,
Of always feeling giddy,
Doodling hearts for a reason,
The need to be witty.
Dancing around in my pj’s,
Singing songs until my voice cracks,
Spinning in circles and staring into space,
Realizing how much my life lacks.
I’ve missed giggling and being hyper,
Missed my heart beating fast,
Missed accidentally blushing,
Thinking how long it would last.
I feel like chains have been removed,
And it’s like I could fly,
The wind beckoning softly,
If only I lift my wings and try.
I’ve missed this feeling,
Of laughter and delight,
The butterflies, the wings,
Feeling like everything is right.


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Loss of Gravity

It’s like gravity’s suddenly been reversed,
And you don’t know which way’s up,
It’s like riding a roller coaster without a bar,
And you can’t wait for it to stop.
Your mind feels like sludge,
And your words come out garbled,
Your confusion never ending,
Every sound leaving you startled.
You’re upside down, then right side up,
On the ground, then standing straight,
You’re depressed, you’re pleased,
You think it’s all worth the wait.
You don’t know what to think,
You’re confused, frustrated, alone,
Content, free, exultant,
Exasperated and on your own.
You cover your ears and hide your face,
Attempting to make it back to reality,
There's gotta be a solution,
But no one hears your plea.

Friday, December 30, 2011

One Heart

Sitting on a park bench by myself,
I see the empty space on the end,
I turn my head slowly, eyes lowering,
Wishing for someone I could confide in.
Deserted and lonely and tired,
I sit with hands clasped slightly,
There’s no one here to help,
To hold my hand tightly.
A sea of overwhelming thoughts,
A flood of loneliness and fears,
No way to fight it, no way to stop it,
Nothing to do but let out the tears.
I stare down at my clasped hands,
A pair, complete, two whole things,
Two eyes, two ears, two feet,
One heart; and what joy that brings.
One heart, alone, as always,
Will there ever be an end,
To the pain, the suffering,
The heart ache that it sends?
The everlasting journey,
To find my other heart,
To fill the seat beside me,
Without falling apart?
My hands tightly clasped,
Eyes lowered to the ground,
Another day passes,
Without my heart being found.


Thursday, November 3, 2011

Deceiving Myself

I'm pulling a blind over my eyes,
Hiding quietly from myself,
Never expressing my true feelings,
Ignoring any queries about my health,
I'm lying to my face,
A blank mask in the form of a wall,
There's a pounding against my shield,
Something determined to make it fall,
I'm lying for my heart,
I'm lying in my head,
I'm lying silently,
As I'm filled full of dread,
Where do the lies end,
And reality begin?
Where is the line drawn?
When does it become a sin?
Do people see right through me?
Past the thick mask I've created?
Is it only a matter of time,
Before it's obliterated?
So, when will it crumble?
When will it fail?
When will my lies be discovered,
And what will it entail?
Still, I pull the blind fast over my eyes,
Hiding still more from myself, 
I blot out my emotions, betray my feelings,
Stack them away on a hidden shelf.


Saturday, October 22, 2011

Where Did the Hours Go?

You’re so cold, so invariably cold,
You’re tired of disappointment,
Tired of feeling lost without a hope,
Doesn’t anyone understand?
You’re so lonely, so horribly lonely,
You’ve wasted so much of your time,
Time you wish you’d never given,
Oh how you wish you could take it all back.
You feel sick, so incurably sick,
Your stomach twisting painfully,
Everything reminds you vividly of them,
Why would God play this cruel trick?
You’re so sad, so terribly sad,
You wish you could feel happy,
Where did all the hours go?
You miss the time when you were whole.