Tell Me When

It’s hard to reach through all the bitterness,
All the love and the hate and the fears,
Emotions strongly rooted into place,
Through things that dissolve you into tears.
You may not want to but here’s the thing,
You know you’ve changed and so have I,
All I’m asking for is a small chance,
I just want you to give it another try.
I’m standing here with hands stretched out,
I just want to be your friend,
So once you’re ready, I’ll still be here.
I’m offering; just tell me when.


~Bri~

Wifey

Hello my dear, how’s it going? Whatcha been up to my dear?
Whatcha been doin? I’ve been waiting and waiting for you to appear.
Thirteen more days! Only thirteen I say!
Can you believe how fast time flies, day by day?
I can’t count on my hands, fingers, and toes,
How many times “You’re so beautiful!” arose.
Inside my head of course…cuz that’s what you are,
The most beautiful and gorgeous little lady by far.
With many insides jokes to draw from,
Wife and Wife we decided to become,
For Facebook ordained it with its tagging status,
Constantly pushing and nagging at us.
We scare little children, but that’s okay,
They’ll regret someday the way they ran away.
Because we’d feed them with love and sugar,
How much more could the little ones ask for?
We suck at bowling, and trying on clothes,
But I swear, that dripping ice cream required a hose.
Oh, that’s what this’s for…*pulls out napkin*
I got ice cream all over my arms, legs, and shin.
Well, that was extremely fun,
And who knew then what had begun?
So, mah dear, you really are gorgeous,
And I love you like ice cream, more or less.
Because, I couldn’t live without ice cream,
I would die, after a long, healthy, scream.
So, thank you for being an amazing wife and friend,
And I request, most humbly, that this relationship never end.
So all others out there, BACK OFF, SHE’S MINE!
Beka dear, will you be my Valentine?

~Bri~

I've Missed this Feeling

I’ve missed this feeling of butterflies,
Of delicate wings tickling my tummy,
Of feeling laughter bubbling up,
This feeling of being happy.
I’ve missed this time of silliness,
Of always feeling giddy,
Doodling hearts for a reason,
The need to be witty.
Dancing around in my pj’s,
Singing songs until my voice cracks,
Spinning in circles and staring into space,
Realizing how much my life lacks.
I’ve missed giggling and being hyper,
Missed my heart beating fast,
Missed accidentally blushing,
Thinking how long it would last.
I feel like chains have been removed,
And it’s like I could fly,
The wind beckoning softly,
If only I lift my wings and try.
I’ve missed this feeling,
Of laughter and delight,
The butterflies, the wings,
Feeling like everything is right.

~Bri~

Loss of Gravity

It’s like gravity’s suddenly been reversed,
And you don’t know which way’s up,
It’s like riding a roller coaster without a bar,
And you can’t wait for it to stop.
Your mind feels like sludge,
And your words come out garbled,
Your confusion never ending,
Every sound leaving you startled.
You’re upside down, then right side up,
On the ground, then standing straight,
You’re depressed, you’re pleased,
You think it’s all worth the wait.
You don’t know what to think,
You’re confused, frustrated, alone,
Content, free, exultant,
Exasperated and on your own.
You cover your ears and hide your face,
Attempting to make it back to reality,
There's gotta be a solution,
But no one hears your plea.

One Heart

Sitting on a park bench by myself,
I see the empty space on the end,
I turn my head slowly, eyes lowering,
Wishing for someone I could confide in.
Deserted and lonely and tired,
I sit with hands clasped slightly,
There’s no one here to help,
To hold my hand tightly.
A sea of overwhelming thoughts,
A flood of loneliness and fears,
No way to fight it, no way to stop it,
Nothing to do but let out the tears.
I stare down at my clasped hands,
A pair, complete, two whole things,
Two eyes, two ears, two feet,
One heart; and what joy that brings.
One heart, alone, as always,
Will there ever be an end,
To the pain, the suffering,
The heart ache that it sends?
The everlasting journey,
To find my other heart,
To fill the seat beside me,
Without falling apart?
My hands tightly clasped,
Eyes lowered to the ground,
Another day passes,
Without my heart being found.

~Bri~

Deceiving Myself

I'm pulling a blind over my eyes,
Hiding quietly from myself,
Never expressing my true feelings,
Ignoring any queries about my health,
I'm lying to my face,
A blank mask in the form of a wall,
There's a pounding against my shield,
Something determined to make it fall,
I'm lying for my heart,
I'm lying in my head,
I'm lying silently,
As I'm filled full of dread,
Where do the lies end,
And reality begin?
Where is the line drawn?
When does it become a sin?
Do people see right through me?
Past the thick mask I've created?
Is it only a matter of time,
Before it's obliterated?
So, when will it crumble?
When will it fail?
When will my lies be discovered,
And what will it entail?
Still, I pull the blind fast over my eyes,
Hiding still more from myself, 
I blot out my emotions, betray my feelings,
Stack them away on a hidden shelf.

~Bri~

Where Did the Hours Go?

You’re so cold, so invariably cold,
You’re tired of disappointment,
Tired of feeling lost without a hope,
Doesn’t anyone understand?
You’re so lonely, so horribly lonely,
You’ve wasted so much of your time,
Time you wish you’d never given,
Oh how you wish you could take it all back.
You feel sick, so incurably sick,
Your stomach twisting painfully,
Everything reminds you vividly of them,
Why would God play this cruel trick?
You’re so sad, so terribly sad,
You wish you could feel happy,
Where did all the hours go?
You miss the time when you were whole.

~Bri~

What if?

What if I like you so much I'm afraid to pray?
Because I'm afraid my answer will be different from His.
What if I like you so much that I want you here to stay?
Because you understand me, you love me, you don't play silly tricks.
What if I'm too attached to let you go?
What will I do when you finally move on?
I don't want to learn, don't want to grow,
From a pain that will last, a pain that's so wrong.
I feel too much too soon for anyone who cares,
I plug my ears to block out the sound,
Somebody save me from this fresh bout of tears,
But sadly, as always, he's the only one around.

~Bri~

Perspective

I hate that feeling when my stomach falls again.
I knew it would happen, but I hoped it wouldn’t be him.
Why is my mind mixed up with so many things?
It’s all there, but it’s him who I see.
He sits there and looks at me, a growing pleasure,
Of torturing, you know I’ll never know for sure.
What does he actually think of me inside his head?
Does he know how I’ve felt, what I did?
How I sacrificed so much to talk to him?
How I kept his secrets, his passions, his fibs?
I'm too close, too confused to make a guess,
So maybe I should step back to see the rest.

~Bri~

Kind of Depressed

I’m hollow. Carved out. No emotion except sadness left behind.
I’m empty. Alone. I want to find that one person who will be mine.
But how can I? I’m so young. That wish can’t come true.
I need to get my mind off him, but it’s something I can’t seem to do.
I always feel so inadequate, and argue with my friends,
About unimportant things, like looks, that always seems to offend.
It’s not my intention; I just can’t seem to express myself,
They don’t seem to understand; I could be jeopardizing my health,
Okay, that’s not true. Crying never hurt anyone,
And that’s all I do; hide in a corner, cry, and avoid having fun,
Because it’s not really fun; not when I’m always so low,
Excuse this poem; it just helps my feelings flow,
Unending sorrow; that’s not the right explanation,
Feels like there’s no tomorrow; this isn’t the right description.
Sometimes I just feel like crying and staying in bed,
“Life sucks” and “love stinks”, both things the world said.
How that applies to now, you figure it out,
I just feel so insecure, so much doubt.
People pressure me a lot, and I can’t make decisions,
I’m always so impulsive and quick in my conclusions.
They lead to things I don’t like and bad situations,
Like Romeo, and Chelsea, and bad inspirations.
I’d explain, but I’m ashamed. I feel alone, but I know I’m not,
I’m not ugly, I’m rather vain. Its just attention I’ve sought.
Some pictures I really don’t like, and hate when others do,
Because they think I hate myself, which I try to say isn’t true.
But then I’m laughed at and called….well, vain.
And that kind of thing drives me insane.
I hate being dismissed with words like “duh” and “whatever”,
It makes me feel like lying in bed, frozen, forever.
So this is all. And I’ve finally confessed.
As you can see, I’m kind of depressed.

~Bri~

Gone

Do you hate me? Do you want me to go away?
Do you love me? Do you want me to stay?
Cuz I dunno what’s going on with you,
But I’m trying to move on, that’s your cue,
Step up, act like a man, raise your chin,
Let me shake your hand, let’s part as friends,
Trust me when I explain, I really liked you,
I wish we could’ve worked, but it wasn’t true,
I made a promise to myself and to God,
And I am trying my best to hold to the Iron Rod,
Stop enticing me, leave my head alone,
I know you don't mean to, but you make me feel so alone,
And you make me feel bad, because everyone says I was a jerk,
But I'm not ready for love, all I meant was to flirt,
And you scared me, don't you understand me by now?
But you're gone, you forgot, it doesn't matter how.

Fishing

Stinky, cold, wet, dirty,
Staying up until 10:30,
Slimy, nasty, icky, gross,
Feel like washing in a hose,
Is there a hose? Not right here,
The wind is blowing, the sky's not clear,
My hair is tangled and full of dirt,
Pulling a brush through it hurts.
Fishing stinks, fishing's stupid,
And my appearance does nothing to help Cupid.
Wish I was home, wish I could take a shower,
Wish for some other food, I'm feeling kind of sour.
Time is passing slowly, I'm falling asleep,
Next moment I'm in the water, feeling like I should weep.
Or maybe it's could...I would, too,
But there's people around, so there's nothing I can do.
Stinky, cold, wet, dirty-
Is that a cute guy getting flirty?
Fun times, good times, happy as can be,
I'm dip-netting, fishing, clear skies (as far as I can see).

Self Confidence

The fog is closing in,
Blocking out the light,
My confidence is dim,
I feel lost, without my sight.
It’s hard to make decisions,
When you’re bombarded constantly,
With everyone’s opinions,
But how they see is not for me.
Sometimes I lose my patience,
And that causes some repercussions,
I lose what respect I used to have,
But you know I've gained self confidence.
I’ve learned to be myself,
And to ignore the many insults,
I’m comfortable as me (sort of),
And I’m happy with the results.

~Bri~

Mr. Right

Love hurts, even if it isn't true,
Sometimes they say they're in love,
But later you realize, not with you,
But you can't begin holding a grudge,
You've got to move on and find someone better,
You're one of a kind, unique, embrace it,
If they don't see that, don't be sending them letters,
They're not worth it, you have to face it.
Believe me when I say, I know what you're going through,
And I know how hard it is to let them go,
Sometimes it seems they don’t have a clue,
And you can’t help thinking “they should know”,
But you’re still young yet,
Still naïve in the ways of life,
And sometimes we like to forget,
And cause ourselves grief and strife,
Please don’t make yourself unhappy,
Please forget about him and be who you are,
Move on, live your life, smile and be happy,
Do this and you know you’ll go far,
Have faith and be strong,
Pray to God each day and night,
And you know it won’t take too long,
For Him to send you Mr. Right.

~Bri~

Musings

Friends who make me feel guilty for things that are in the past,
People who make me so angry I feel like I’ll explode with a blast.
Sometimes life is just too crazy for me to understand why,
I just have to sit down for a while so I don’t start to cry.
Sometimes I wonder why God sends me these little *cough* big trials,
Things that I really don’t want to face, that make me go the extra miles,
Broken hearts, broken glass, burns from the oven and pins on the floor,
Unexpected pain, unknown hurt, all things that will help us through that door,
That’ll lead us to our perfect lives, our soul mates, and Him,
So I think, don’t give up, even if the light at the end of the tunnel is dim,
People tell me “Your friends are invaluable. Treasure them. Remember, life is good.
Be who you are, and who you want to be. Be the little engine that could.”
And I’ve chosen to believe it, to embrace it, to live it. Like I said to Mr. Brown:
“Live life to the fullest. Love with all your heart. And laugh until the tears come streaming down.”

~Bri~

Picture that Poem

A friend of mine put my poems on a couple pictures she took, and I thought they looked really cool and were worth sharing.

(Helpful hint: Click on the title of the poem to read the poem, click on the picture to see the full size picture ;)

Love Me

Will You Hurt My Heart?

Afraid

All I Really Want Is You

Look for her pictures at http://PictureThatMelody.blogspot.com/

~Bri~

Appearance

I stare into the mirror almost 24/7,
Examining my face, my eyes, my hair,
I wasn’t self-conscious til the year I turned eleven,
Now when I see myself I think “it isn’t fair”.
“I’m not as pretty as the other girls”,
“I’m not skinny enough”,
No matter how perfectly my hair curls,
I’ve still got it rough,
My nose is too big, my eyes are too small,
My face is blotchy and I’ve got zits on my hairline,
I wish I had a wig, I wish I wasn’t tall,
When I ask how I look, everyone says “fine”.
But I don’t want fine, I don’t want plain,
I want to shine, not hide in shame.
I wish my eyes weren't muddy brown,
I wish they'd make people think how brightly they gleam,
I wish that when I look in the mirror I wouldn't frown,
I wish that none of me was really as it seems.
Am I being selfish? Shallow? …naive?
How sad it makes me you couldn't believe.
Who am I? Why am I here? I'm not pretty, I'm not cute,
I am sure as anything not gorgeous, these compliments are mute.
Maybe in time...I'll learn to cope,
Maybe in time...that's what I hope.

~Bri~

Simple Things

"Be grateful for the simple things",
That’s what they always say,
But until a couple days ago,
I didn’t really appreciate.
What things I have this day and age,
How little I have to deal with,
But something has changed inside me,
I know now that life is a gift.
The thought of the work those pioneers did,
Makes me want to cry,
The thought of those who died for freedom,
Always makes me sigh.
A two week old who died of cold,
No shelter or enclosure,
An 11 year old boy protecting his brother,
Died of over exposure.
Imagine all the struggles they had,
Imagine what they did,
How they crossed the plains with pride,
They survived because they didn’t quit.
I’m grateful for all the little things,
And the Pioneers won’t die in vain,
They accomplished what God asked of them,
And their memory will always remain.

~Bri~

Perfect Fit

You’re scared, and you know it,
You’re acting a fool, and you show it,
You’re heart has been snatched up,
And now’s not the time to give up.
You’ve got to go for the win,
You’ve got a chance, however slim.
Being apart isn’t good for your health,
Do what others didn’t, believe in yourself,
You and him are perfect together,
You can talk about anything, including the weather.
Sometimes fighting is hard, but it only makes you stronger,
However much you fight, you know you’ll hold longer.
Be the example for those who lose hope,
Don’t give up, even if you’re on a downward slope,
I want to cry because you guys are losing,
Please don’t give up, look at the path you’re choosing,
You know you can do it, and so do I,
You can make this work, or better, you can make it FLY.

~Bri~

We Broke Up

You WHAT?!
You idiot, you blockhead, you pile of trash,
You carcass face, you nasal face, I’ll burn you in a flash,
Go thou and fill another room in hell,
Go bang your head inside a bell!
Point your feet where thou and mine shall henceforth never meet!
I hope you go into a crowded room and can’t find a seat!
I’ll boil you in oil, castor oil! Savory brew, boyface stew!
You dull worm, you slime face, you thin faced knave!
From her hands her heart she willingly gave!
You abomination to mankind, you odd ball, you creep!
Watch out, I’ll cut your throat when you sleep!
Die horrid monster! Die crooked fool!
You dishonorable boy, you freak, that was uncool!
What’s that you say? It was a joke?
You weirdy, *poke*


~Bri~